The 13 worst lines in movies, ever

News Sarah Dobbs 2/6/2008 at 5:38AM
Darth Vader

Compiling a worst of list is an almost impossible task. But Sarah's had a go, anyway...

Entertainment Weekly recently published a list of what they considered to be the worst lines of dialogue in movies ever. They’re pretty bad. But I’ve seen worse.

The problem with making a worst-of list is that it’s impossible to see all the dregs. Even considering the amount of low budget horror crap I watch, there’s more out there. There’s piles and piles of stuff I won’t touch because I know it’ll suck (Norbit, anyone?) and those movies undoubtedly contain lines that just should not be uttered by anyone on Earth ever. Keeping up with the avalanche of straight-to-video shit in the world now isn’t possible. So even this doesn’t constitute a “worst” list. Just a “pretty fucking dreadful” list. Keeping all those caveats in mind, onto the list!

13. Serenity (2005) “I aim to misbehave.”

Even in the trailer, this line sounded awkward. In context, it sounded worse. How did Serenity manage to suck so much when Firefly was so utterly brilliant?

12. The Ring Two (2005) “I'm not your fucking Mommy!”

Not improved by Naomi Watts’ delivery.

11. Roman (2006) “What the shit you do, y'ain't got no TV?”

A coworker eloquently expresses his shock at discovering that Roman doesn’t own a television. In what almost sounds like one word. Boggling.

10. House of the Dead (2003) “We finally got to the boat, but it wasn’t there!”

Then clearly you didn’t get to it, did you?

9. Doom (2005) “Semper fi, motherfucker!”

“Always faithful, motherfucker”? Er. What?

8. Hellbreeder (2004) “Are you sure you saw what you think you thought you saw?”

Er. Yes? No? What’s the right answer here?

7. Jawbreaker (1999) “Some of the sweetest candies are sour as death inside.”

One of the worst police officers ever utters this nonsense in the middle of a discussion about a high school murder carried out using… a jawbreaker. This movie sucked. (Sucked – like you suck candy? Get it? Okay, then.)

6. Pulse (2006) “Do you know what dying tastes like? Metal.”

Really? Okay.

5. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) “I hoped I'd get to nail you one more time. Didn't think it'd be literally.”

Where do you start with this movie? Urghhhhhh. There’s nothing good about it, but this was particularly cringeworthy.

4. Chopper Chicks in Zombietown (1991) “You don't want TV, you want coitus!”

But Doctor Who's on!

3. The Wicker Man (2006) “No! Not the bees! Nooooo! Not the bees! My eyes! Arghhhhhhh! Arghhhhhh! Arghhhhhh!”

Nicolas Cage in this movie is… umm… well, he’s a revelation. I’ll leave it at that.

2. Troll 2 (1990) “You can't piss on hospitality.”

After a child has, actually, pissed all over some food to stop his family eating it. In fairness, it was covered in evil troll goo. And piss.

1. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005) “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

The worst thing ever. The worst. There has never been anything worse than this in cinema ever. Never.

(For what it's worth, here's Entertainment Weekly’s list:

Notting Hill (1999) "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."

Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith (2005) "Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo."

Jerry Maguire (1996) "You complete me."

Ever After (1998) "A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?"

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992) "I'm gone, like a turkey in the corn. Gobble gobble!"

X-Men (2000) "You know what happens when a toad gets struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else."

Sin City (2005) "My warrior woman. My valkyrie. You'll always be mine, always and never. Never. The Fire, baby. It'll burn us both. It'll kill us both. There's no place in this world for our kind of fire."

Pretty Woman (1990) "And she rescues him right back."

She's All That (1999) "I feel just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. You know, except for the whole hooker thing."

Love Story (1970) "Love means never having to say you're sorry."

A Cry in the Dark (1988) "A dingo ate my baby!"

As Good as It Gets (1997) "You're why cavemen chiseled on walls."

Four Wedding and a Funeral (1994) "Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed."

Dirty Dancing (1986) "I carried a watermelon."

City of Angels (1998) "We were made to fit together.")

Weasels Rip My Flesh - and 101 other deathless horror movie titles
What the...funster? Top 10 edited-for-TV movies
The Top 5 most overrated horror movies
9 directors worse than Uwe Boll

Click here for a list of ALL the lists at Den Of Geek...

Disqus - noscript

[B]Plan 9 from Outer Space[/B] "It's murder. And sombody's responsible!" No shit, Sherlock...

Burial Ground: "A cloth! This cloth smells of death!"

Harsh, EW, harsh. I really like the 'Ever After' line...

Feel free to shun me.

Fantastic 4: Dr Doom 'Susan..lets not fight', Sue Storm' No...lets!'

EW's list has too many fairly good lines in amongst the bad ones. Plus, that "Sin City" quote fuckin' rocks.

It doesn't seem fair to pick on movies where we have to rely on the translation being decent, but... I bet Battle Royale 2 had some right stinkers in it.

Whilst I assume this line lost some finesse in translation, I think the line from Battle Royale where a teenager is dying in her crush's arms deserves a mention here

"I always thought...*cough*... that you...were so...cool"

And dead.

When you've reached into a pile of goo that used to be your best friends face, then you can tell me about fair.

Pretty much every line ever delivered by Hayden Christiansen is the worst line ever, regardless of the movie he's in.

Fair play to EW on the X-Men one, though.

RE: Storm, though, apparently that's mostly down to Halle Berry's dreadful delivery. It's supposed to be like [threateningly] "What happens to a toad when it gets hit by lightning?" and then, more flippantly, after he gets hit, "Oh. Same as everything else." Which is a much more Joss-Whedon-y line than how it actually ended up.

I love all of those lines. :(

Oh, also : every line spoken by both Arnie and Uma in Batman & Robin. Wait, no, make that every line spoken, full-stop, in Batman & Robin. In fact, I bet I could do a list of 13 lines from Batman & Robin that are worse than everything else on this list :

13. "This is why Superman works alone";
12. "I am Nature's arm! Her spirit, her will! Hell, I AM Mother Nature!";
11. "I'm afraid my condition hass left me COLD to your pleas of mercy!";
10. "Rubber lips are immune to your charms";
9. "No beauty." "Just the beast!";
8. "My garden needs tending!";
7. "In Gotham City, Batman and Robin protect us! Even from flowers!";
6. "My passion thaws for my bride alone!";
5. "There's something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips!";
4. "Never leave the cave without it!";
3. "Vot killed der dinosaurs? Der ICE AGE!";
2. Any mention of "The Oxbridge Academy";
And at number one, of course... "YOU'RE NOT SENDING *ME* TO ZE COOOOOL-AHH!"

Orgy of the Dead: "Torture! Torture! It pleases me!"

Seb: You forgot "It's a cold town" and "Let's kick some ice", Arnie's two best lines!

Poor list. For one, Serenity was a great film, on a par with Firefly, and "I aim to misbehave" is a great line. Your number one choice ("Nooooooo!") is merely your inner geek lashing out with disappointment with the Star Wars prequels as a whole (and what was Darth Vader supposed to do - the dance of joy?). Surely "They killed the younglings" from the same film is a million times worse! EW's list was better.

P.S. This comment thing doesn't work in Firefox.

Don't agree. At all. Serenity was a fucking disgrace. And I liked Revenge of the Sith, apart from that moment, which is inexcusable.

Aw, come on. Was there any line in recent history so out of place as the 'Noooooooooooooo'? The pivotal moment in a six film story arc, and it was greeted with howls of laughter. The wrong line, delivered in the wrong way, in an underwhelming film. It's my choice for first place, too.

I felt genuinely embaressed as an audience member during the "Noooooooo" moment.

"Nooooooooooo"

Billions of dollars and thirty years leading up to that line - and they blew it, despite having as many takes as they needed. Un-f***ing believable.

I couldn't agree more about the 'Noooooo!' line, half of the dialogue of Attack Of The Clones could get into that list...

Your list was far superior to EW's, I love that Jack Nicholson speech in As Good As It Gets. But then, I'm a soppy old sod.

(Also "inner geek"? Nothing inner about it...)

Sarah, your opinions on things take more wild turns than an autistic race-driver. Since when did Serenity become a 'disgrace'? Serenity was awesome. Not being as good as your favourite series does not make something bad.

Tonight, we dine in hell. Spartaaaaaa

I'm paraphrasing, but there was a line in ST:TNG that had me in stitches, and it went something like:

Geordie: "We can uncouple the main phase routers and de-synch the dilithium crystals, but the transverse power channels are reading static phase whenever we try it."

Ryker: "That doesn't make any sense."

"Tonight, we dine in hell. Spartaaaaaa"



YES. I tried to find something from 300, but I couldn't sit through the whole movie, so I missed it off the list. But it does sound like a hell of a lot of bad lines occur in that movie.

[B]Plan 9 from Outer Space[/B] "It's murder. And sombody's responsible!" No shit, Sherlock...

Harsh, EW, harsh. I really like the 'Ever After' line...

Feel free to shun me.

Burial Ground: "A cloth! This cloth smells of death!"

EW's list has too many fairly good lines in amongst the bad ones. Plus, that "Sin City" quote fuckin' rocks.

Fantastic 4: Dr Doom 'Susan..lets not fight', Sue Storm' No...lets!'

It doesn't seem fair to pick on movies where we have to rely on the translation being decent, but... I bet Battle Royale 2 had some right stinkers in it.

Whilst I assume this line lost some finesse in translation, I think the line from Battle Royale where a teenager is dying in her crush's arms deserves a mention here

"I always thought...*cough*... that you...were so...cool"

And dead.

Pretty much every line ever delivered by Hayden Christiansen is the worst line ever, regardless of the movie he's in.

When you've reached into a pile of goo that used to be your best friends face, then you can tell me about fair.

Fair play to EW on the X-Men one, though.

RE: Storm, though, apparently that's mostly down to Halle Berry's dreadful delivery. It's supposed to be like [threateningly] "What happens to a toad when it gets hit by lightning?" and then, more flippantly, after he gets hit, "Oh. Same as everything else." Which is a much more Joss-Whedon-y line than how it actually ended up.

Oh, also : every line spoken by both Arnie and Uma in Batman & Robin. Wait, no, make that every line spoken, full-stop, in Batman & Robin. In fact, I bet I could do a list of 13 lines from Batman & Robin that are worse than everything else on this list :

13. "This is why Superman works alone";
12. "I am Nature's arm! Her spirit, her will! Hell, I AM Mother Nature!";
11. "I'm afraid my condition hass left me COLD to your pleas of mercy!";
10. "Rubber lips are immune to your charms";
9. "No beauty." "Just the beast!";
8. "My garden needs tending!";
7. "In Gotham City, Batman and Robin protect us! Even from flowers!";
6. "My passion thaws for my bride alone!";
5. "There's something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips!";
4. "Never leave the cave without it!";
3. "Vot killed der dinosaurs? Der ICE AGE!";
2. Any mention of "The Oxbridge Academy";
And at number one, of course... "YOU'RE NOT SENDING *ME* TO ZE COOOOOL-AHH!"

I love all of those lines. :(

Seb: You forgot "It's a cold town" and "Let's kick some ice", Arnie's two best lines!

Orgy of the Dead: "Torture! Torture! It pleases me!"

Poor list. For one, Serenity was a great film, on a par with Firefly, and "I aim to misbehave" is a great line. Your number one choice ("Nooooooo!") is merely your inner geek lashing out with disappointment with the Star Wars prequels as a whole (and what was Darth Vader supposed to do - the dance of joy?). Surely "They killed the younglings" from the same film is a million times worse! EW's list was better.

P.S. This comment thing doesn't work in Firefox.

Don't agree. At all. Serenity was a fucking disgrace. And I liked Revenge of the Sith, apart from that moment, which is inexcusable.

Aw, come on. Was there any line in recent history so out of place as the 'Noooooooooooooo'? The pivotal moment in a six film story arc, and it was greeted with howls of laughter. The wrong line, delivered in the wrong way, in an underwhelming film. It's my choice for first place, too.

I felt genuinely embaressed as an audience member during the "Noooooooo" moment.

"Nooooooooooo"

Billions of dollars and thirty years leading up to that line - and they blew it, despite having as many takes as they needed. Un-f***ing believable.

(Also "inner geek"? Nothing inner about it...)

I couldn't agree more about the 'Noooooo!' line, half of the dialogue of Attack Of The Clones could get into that list...

Your list was far superior to EW's, I love that Jack Nicholson speech in As Good As It Gets. But then, I'm a soppy old sod.

Sarah, your opinions on things take more wild turns than an autistic race-driver. Since when did Serenity become a 'disgrace'? Serenity was awesome. Not being as good as your favourite series does not make something bad.

Tonight, we dine in hell. Spartaaaaaa

I'm paraphrasing, but there was a line in ST:TNG that had me in stitches, and it went something like:

Geordie: "We can uncouple the main phase routers and de-synch the dilithium crystals, but the transverse power channels are reading static phase whenever we try it."

Ryker: "That doesn't make any sense."

"Tonight, we dine in hell. Spartaaaaaa"



YES. I tried to find something from 300, but I couldn't sit through the whole movie, so I missed it off the list. But it does sound like a hell of a lot of bad lines occur in that movie.

Well-deserved for Revenge of the Sith. Goddamn embarrassing.

Serenity sucked? I Aim to misbehave a bad line? What are you a moron?

I second that, Daniel Gallagher.

You mean bad movies have bad lines?

I do not agree at all with "I carried a watermelon". Taken out of context ya shitty line, but in context it fits, she nervous and doesn't know how to act and says something just to say something because she doesn't know what to say. And realizes it after she says it. IT FITS

How about "I live my life a quarter mile at a time" from the original Fast and Furious?

"She's so deep in my gut we breathe together." Assault On A Queen (1966) Frank Sinatra says the line, written by Rod Serling.

Completely agree with this sentiment. Obviously a moron.

How about "He's dead - murdered - and someone's responsible!"? Plan 9 from Outer Space. And "I've had to work ever since I was a kid - and some of it wasn't much fun!" The Mesa of Lost Women

I third that. Perhaps the writer would have preferred "I'm about to do some very bad things" in Serenity?

I think you're forgetting the line from Shark Attack 3: Megalodon - "Yeah, me too. But you know I'm really wired. What do you say I... take you home and eat your pussy."

Yeah, my friends and I use this line in particular very often.

The author has NO credabilty after saying 'Serenity' sucked. 'I Aim to Misbehave' and 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!' were both awesome. In fact, Vader's 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!' was the best part of that trilogy.

Not to really defend the line or really any part of the movie Doom, but seeing as they were space marines and the marine motto is Semper Fi, the line isn't so bad as to warrant a top 10 (or 13) list.

This list is one of the top 10 worst lists I've seen.